Transcendence
by Kairrie
Summary: Having to live life while on the rise after high school is a task by itself. Adding on an silly but jealous best friend and a sexy college professor hunting you down is baggage she never asked for while in College. Did she mention her raging father as well as battling the same sickness that took her mother? RATED M. College AU. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, Author here! This is my story I promised a while back ._.**

 **Its different, yes. Very different than most stories. It is AU and probably OOC, everything in this story has a reason and lessons that I myself went through and learned. Any questions or any constructive criticism can be PMed to me! Any flames too ;) So without further ado, enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own plot, everything else go to the almighty creator of Fairy Tail!**

* * *

The clouds in her mind slowly parted. It wasn't sunny, nor rainy, but dark and bright with stars. Her mind was a peaceful haze of dreamless sleep. Her limbs slowly became aware of the rest of her body, but made no move to try to fully awaken. Her eyes remained closed for a while longer as she basked in the feeling of slowly waking up. After a while, she moved her head slightly. Twitching her nose, her arm shot over her face and slapped against the side of her head.

Her hand circled around the hard material covering her cheek and forehead. Her brow creased further together when she realized what it was. She sighed, and tried swallowing several times as she slowly sat up. Smacking her mouth from the dryness in her throat, she scratched her stomach and swung her legs over the bed.

Her eyes were closed the entire way to the bathroom, just waiting to witness the morning horror that accompanied her face today. The bathroom door banged against the wall loudly, her hand searching wildly for the light switch. Once she found it, she flicked it on and winced when the light behind her eyelids slightly stung. Blinking she slowly peeled open her eyes and stared for a minute at her reflection.

Nothing immediately came to mind while staring. Though if she were to be specific, a certain pink haired idiot DID come to mind. Her brown eyes were dark and shadowed heavily by still existing sleep. She had a feeling Natsu had something to do with her lack of sleep lately. _The pest._

Her mind was still going too slow to bring any important thought to the forefront of her mind besides the one thought, though an odd feeling did accompany her apparent lack of memory; the last couple of days hazy. Her head peeked out from the doorway of the bathroom and looked at her bedside clock. 5 in the morning? Why did I wake up so early?

An incurable ache began to form in the center of her chest, but she shrugged it off quickly. Returning her attention back to the mirror, she brought her hands up to her face and peeled away her headphones from her cheek and forehead. _This is the only disadvantage with having headphones instead of earphones._

The aftermath left behind looked like it would never go away. Though there were many other mornings with the same marks, these were deeper and more noticeable, making her slightly worried if she would even be able to go out soon. From the looks of them, she had fun last night. But she was a morning person, and not being able to get out of the house as soon as possible bothered her. Which also made the lack of sleep a hard thing to deal with.

Her long blonde hair clung to her face, neck, shoulders and back. As if the static turned to glue. Her hands left her face and gathered it in her hand looking around for a certain item to pull it away from her face. She hesitated in cutting it, but knew if she did she would still be unhappy with it. Which would explain why there were a vast array of different colored ponytail holders everywhere when she looked down. On the floor, in the sink, on the wall, in the mirror compartment, you name it.

She looked to the ones on the wall and grimaced slightly. _Hopefully, it's because of hairspray that it can stick so well like that._ Shrugging her shoulders, she grabbed one off the sink and successfully made a messy bun. Her specialty.

Shaking her head at her disarray, she brought her hands up to her face and felt the lines again, furrowing her eyebrows when her fingers passed over them. Maybe a shower and some fresh air would make them go away. Taking a step back, she finally felt the need to stretch like life depended on it. Her arms came up and over her head and she leaned back easily, due to her flexibility, until she heard several satisfying pops in her back.

Grabbing her head, she shook it lightly to get rid of the lights dancing in front of her eyes from stretching like she had. Waiting a minute to get rid of the dizziness, she walked over to the bath/shower and smiled. She was looking forward to a long, nice shower to wash away the nights events and prepare her for whatever that day had for her. She pushed back the shower curtains and then froze.

There in the tub, were empty bottles of her favorite shampoo/conditioner duo and body wash. She nearly crumpled to the floor. Only one person would commit such a dirty crime in her bathtub and leave the evidence. Or it could have been three somebodies. She wondered if her friends were even her _friends._

"Talk about tough love. And these were really expensive too..." She coughed slightly, the dryness in her throat becoming more apparent.

Standing up, she picked up the empty bottles and silently shed a single farewell tear as she threw them away. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she reached and turned the water on to heat it up. Yawning loudly, she stepped out of the bathroom and walked to her kitchen. When she opened the fridge, her eyes landed on...

"What the hell! NATSU!"

Her favorite drinks were gone. Destroyed. Totaled. Desolated. No longer in existence. Because of her best friend Natsu. The usually fully stocked fridge was emptied of her all-time favorite energy drink, _Mania_. She rubbed the middle of her chest slightly with the palm of her hand at her growing anxious frustration. Slowly she stood up and narrowed her eyes at nothing in particular.

Why did today feel... off? She woke up amazing, but since then had found many things wrong in her home. Also carrying a sense of oddness with her. Ever since she got out of bed, the feeling had not went away. If it was apparent enough for her to be rubbing her chest, it must be something important she wasn't remembering. She thought back to the last three days of partying she did with her friends. She couldn't remember what they were celebrating, but it was intense and amazingly fun.

Crossing her arms, she squinted. Why couldn't she remember? She hadn't done any heavy drinking. Because that would mess with her pills. Her head shot up and looked to her left. There on the counter laid her empty bottle of anxiety pills. Empty. Gone.

It all came rushing back to her at once. Her father and her fighting. Calling Natsu over. Talking, joking, and chatting. Erza came over, then Lisanna. They had messed around on her new DJ board she got as a present from her dad; she had to explain to them that it was only a bribe gift.

All the rest of the evening that Friday was spent avoiding any questions about her dad or what she was going to do about his proposition. Her eyes narrowed again, a red mark appearing on her skin from where she continuously had been rubbing it.

Maybe that was where the feeling was coming from. Everything else forgotten in that moment, her feet carried her to her small study room. Anything that was paper had always gravitated to the desk, and it was there she was going to find her answers. Since her father liked communicating by letter, it was her best bet. She shuffled through papers and stacks upon stacks of music notes. Her hand found it before her eyes did, and trembling hands brought it to her face for inspection.

Marriage.

School.

Money.

Hospital.

Her eyes whipped across the piece of paper, never staying in one place as she tried to gather the meaning of the letter all in one take. Which only served to heighten her worry and dampen her focus. Numbly, her arms lowered the paper back to its previous hiding place among her desk.

Her father wanted her to move back. Her father wanted her to forget about school and her dream, and look for a man with money to marry. Her father wanted her to talk to tons of doctors about her sickness and get help.

"My father wants... the _impossible!_ " She slammed her hands down on the table and tried to control her breathing. She was overreacting, nothing more. They had a fight like every father and daughter do every day, and all she needed to do was give it some time before talking to him again.

 _"No daughter of mine is going to waste her time pursuing music!"_

 _"There is something wrong with you. These panic attacks are only you trying to avoid your life here. Going to a hospital to find out what is wrong inside that head of yours will help, not your fake life you have in Magnolia."_

 _"Don't let me hear you talk about your mother again! She is gone and nothing will change that fact, and nothing will change my mind either!"_

 _"You need to give up on that dream, Lucy."_

 _"With how you are now, you will get nowhere."_

 _"Come back home, it's the only place you can afford to live at right now."_

 _"You ungrateful brat! I have done so much for you, and this is how you repay me?"_

 _"Alright! You get what you want. But from now on, I don't want to hear anything about you, nor do I want to see you."_

 _"You are nothing like your mother."_

The echoes got louder and louder in her head. Her hand clutching the side of her headphones as she blasted music into them, finally breaking through the anxiety induced haze that took over her mind. Hot tears were running down her face and into her hair. It had all came back to her, as vivid as if it had just happened. Lucy did not know how she ended up curled into a ball on her bed, nor how she even had the control to turn her music on. Her eyes opened, but were only able to see the blurred out wall of her bedroom. Her mind was still, letting everything roar out from beneath her forgotten subconscious memories.

She had enrolled in school last night, due to the encouragement from her friends and the hard resolve to show her father that she did not need his sheltering and controlling mannerisms in her life any longer. They argued for hours, silent and verbal words were thrown and tossed without much heed to what they were saying.

He even brought up the events of the day her mother died, and what happened the day of her funeral. It been years since she had died. Though she felt her death just as much; like a sharp painful piercing in her heart every day. Like she had recently passed. Her father knew. She had thought he felt the same. _No. I was wrong. He feels nothing, he feels only for himself!_

He even brought up the fact of her...of her sickness. She wished she had not taken all of her pills in the last three days, the habit to have one every time the ache came was beginning to cause a problem. A headache had started at the base of her head and began an annoying pounding against her skull. She needed those pills, they were the only thing that kept her from doing things she detested. She tightened her hand into a fist to keep it from moving.

But instead, her hand slowly came down and softly rubbed her thigh. Her mind was telling her to do it; to relieve it of its pain. But her gut and logical voice began to protest, saying it wasn't normal to handle problems this way.

She did not listen to the voice.

Taking deep breaths, she grabbed a bit of skin and slowly begin to pinch it harder, and harder, until she could no longer feel it nor anything else. There was always that point in which the pain became too much, and she thought to stop. Every time she had this inner battle of giving over to it. And she always did.

She crossed over the threshold of her mind, and entered her 'space.' All she could perceive of her senses happened to be the drowned out music in her headphones. She did not know how long she laid there, nor when she let go of her thigh. But when she came to, the tears had stopped flowing, and her breathing, pulse, and mind were now very calm.

Her hands shakily came to her face to wipe away her tears to clear her vision. Lucy grabbed her headphones and squeezed them tightly, letting loose a huge breath from her chest. The aching was still there, but it was beginning to ebb away. _Without music, I'd be fucked._

She looked down at her sound pod, and held it up to her face with shaky hands. The music blasting through to her ears made her smile slightly. This was a mix she made when she had met Makarov. The old man had been drunk of his rockers, so to say. He had an interesting thing to say about anxiety. So she recorded it for whatever reason.

 _"I am worried, and I ought to stop worrying, but because I do, I worry because I worry. You see where that can lead to, and that is where anxiety comes in. No amount of anxiety is going to change anything. In other words, the worst damn thing is going to happen anyway."_

She slowly sat up and leaned up against her wall near her bed. The old man's words had forever since then been stuck in her head. Lucy had been trying to compare the simple explanation to her genuine feeling and gave up when she came to a dead end every time. Why would thinking the worse to happen no matter the situation help?

Letting her head fall into her hands, she scoffed. She wished it was that easy, just to stop worrying just like that. Was worry even the root of the problem with her anxiety? Or was it a piece to a bigger picture? Lucy took off her headphones and sat them down on her bed, not bothering to turn the music off. She scooted herself to the edge of the bed and stood up abruptly.

Lucy thrust her arms out in front of her and took in the image of them shaking. Her legs were like jelly, and she couldn't exactly breathe evenly. Her body felt hot but cold at the same time, but she could feel a warmness on her cheeks. It was always like this after an attack, sometimes she could literally run a marathon afterwards. But this time felt different, almost like they were getting worse.

In a daze, she walked into the bathroom again. She slumped her shoulders when she realized she had kept the water running... for who knew how long. The drain was open, so nothing overflowed into the floor, but wasting so much water still bothered her.

Her eyes landed on the plug and grabbed it, but as she stood back up her eyes were drawn to the mirror like a magnet. In the reflection, Lucy saw her appearance and became utterly annoyed. Her eyes were dark and full, but red rimmed and bloodshot. Her cheeks had a blush adorned on them, and her hair was down, the ponytail all but forgotten now. It left her hair wild and messy; as if though she had enjoyed herself somehow.

She hated seeing herself in such a light. And hated the fact that causing herself pain made the ache go away. Replacing it with... with..

Violently tugging on her sports bra, she threw it somewhere on the ground, her boxers soon joining them. Her toes touched the water first, checking the temperature. Smiling in anticipation, she eagerly let her body drop down into the bath slowly, feeling the water envelop her.

This is what she needed, to relax. Thinking back, she used to be able to get in an hour or two of her own time. Between music and her bath time, she was very relaxed. Nowadays, she found herself trying to figure out ways to bypass her anxiety problem. Researching and talking to doctors usually consumed all of her time, so some of her habits she had when she was younger fell way to a new Lucy because of it. Though she didn't complain when she came out on the other side a total different person. She felt it needed to happen. The only setback..

She brought her hands into her sight and watched as they still trembled. Even when she drew her hand into a fist they continued to do so. Her frustration and embarrassment grew further when her eyes landed on the little red mark on her thigh. She was not shaking because of her anxiety, nor because of everything that happened. She was shaking because of the relief. Because of the wonderful feeling she got from the pain. _This is my one regret._

Maybe she did need help. Using pain to escape your emotions was considered unhealthy. Although it never went beyond pinching, only leaving behind several small bruises. _So it's not self-harm._ She was sure of that. Lucy would never bring a blade to her skin.

Though, it was considered odd and 'not normal' by many people. So she needed to stop.

 _Right?_

* * *

 **So what did you guys think? Please review so I know if you guys are interested in wanting more! AND BTW. I am not leaving behind any of my chapter stories you see on my profile behind or any already started but on hiatus. I am more connected to this one right now : O**

 **R & R**

 **-K**


	2. A Odd Start

**Hello, Author here! I apologize; I actually wrote this chapter two weeks ago but being the perfectionist I am I had to edit like crazy and change a million things. But its here, so please enjoy!**

 _ **Disclaimer**_

 **I do not own Fairy Tail; the plot is my own.**

* * *

Lucy stood in the middle of her closet, water dripping off her body into the floor. She had just finished her bath and abandoned the idea of a towel, seeing as Natsu had not slept over. When he was around the idea of privacy was all but forgotten. Her hair clung to her back and neck, making her shiver whenever a rivulet of water slid down her back.

The clothes on the racks stayed motionless, mocking her with many choices. It was always like this when she had somewhere actually important to go to. Not dance clubs, nor any parties or get to togethers with her friends. This was something that she considered life changing. Who would have known she would make such a chance? Even though it was in the daze of excitement; riding the wave of encouragement from her best friends.

Lucy sighed heavily and crossed her arms, turning in a slow circle around the closet. This outfit needed to be sexy but very casual. Casual was something she had mastered years ago, but to make it look appealing too? That was a challenge. Her eyes were traveling through each shirt and jeans she owned, when her eyes landed on a pair of cute booties she had literally never worn.

Levy had thrown a fit when they came across these while shopping out one day. She said it would look killer with the outfit she had bought at another store. Lucy's eyes widened as she twirled around, eyes landing on the very outfit. She walked up to it and pushed all the other clothes out of the way, hands shaking. This was the outfit. A beige sweater, slightly oversized that had a habit of hanging off her shoulders. She had worn it around the house a couple of times, afraid to walk out in it in fear of getting looks from people.

Her eyes traveled lower down, a grin stretching across her face. These jeans were sexy, in the way of hugging the hell out of the wearer's ass and hips. That wasn't even her favorite thing about them; the embroidered sign on the left thigh made her grin a full smile. The Fairy Tail insignia of the dance club lay there in bright pink. The sign of the only people she felt she could call actual family.

In her excitement she yanked down the shirt and yelped when a box fell down from behind the outfit, its contents tumbling out. In the mess lay a bracelet she remembered all too well. Slowly and gingerly she picked it up and smiled sadly. It brought back many memories, none of which were good, in a way. Squinting her eyes, she took the bracelet and clothes with her and walked out of her closet.

She stopped when her eyes found the clocks hateful glare. It was 40 minutes before her class started.

"Are you kidding me?!" Lucy made a mad dash to the bathroom, almost slipping on the water still lingering in the floor. She looked at herself in the mirror and groaned loudly. It took her at least 20 minutes to get ready, but to get to the school she would need 30.

"I can do this!"

She might not be good at anything else, but one of her talents lay with being late. She could drop a good look in minimal time. She lunged for the blow dryer and turned it on low. Grabbing a towel she dried off the rest of her body and then threw on the clothes as quick as she could; she would worry about the actual look later. Right now, her biggest concern was her face. _Thank Mavis for make-up._

* * *

Nastu slung his bag over his shoulder, slamming his car door. Yawning loudly, he rubbed his eyes as he began to walk up to the school's front doors. The loud chatter and squealing from the new freshman girls made his ears ring annoyingly. His shoulders sagged, the girls laughter reminding him of a certain blonde haired woman.

Woman being the right term; Lucy didn't see herself as such, but he certainly could. Any man in his right mind would obviously see it. She was beautiful, and he couldn't keep that fact from invading his mind over and over again of late. His head lifted up as he turned around before taking the steps up to the school, his gaze swept over the parking lot and frowned.

She would probably be late of course. His heart seemed to tighten in worry, she wasn't in the best shape when he left her at her place last night. Although he could tell she had fun, the hue of her skin and the twitchiness her body exhibited made him wonder if taking her out to their dance club and letting her smoke was a bad idea. He knew it messed with the 'cycle' she had made for herself since starting a new medication. No drinking or smoking of any kind. Though, out of all the years he'd known her, he had not seen her drink once. Smoking was always the one thing she was drawn too. One fact he will never like about her character.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he dug his phone out of his back pocket and unlocked it only to find no messages or missed calls. There was usually a few from her at least every day; they were like glue, always with each other.

"It's unbecoming of you to have that expression, Natsu. Are you worried about Lucy?" Natsu spun around to see Erza and Jellal walking up the steps to his side. Huffing, he put away his phone and crossed his arms.

"Why would I be? She can take care of herself. If she even knew I was worried she bite off my head.." Jellal chuckled and gave him a knowing stare. Jellal, like Lucy, was very intuitive. _A damn annoying talent._

"It's perfectly fine to be worried, you know. Especially since this will be her first time in a school environment after so long. But like you said, she can take care of herself." Natsu caught the underlying hint in his voice and frowned.

After the first try at college, Lucy swore off it and tried sticking it out with making herself known by herself. She stated she didn't need a paper telling her she was good at what she loved. But we all knew the real reason she dropped out so suddenly.

"Hey, guys! You do know class is about to start in 5 minutes, right?" He turned to find his childhood friend, Lisanna, trotting up the steps to him. He smiled at her, the worry leaving his face. The only other girl who could do that was..

"Where's Lucy? Knowing her she's probably going to be late the first day." Another member joined them on the stairs, in all his glory. Natsu rolled his eyes at his attire.

"Freed, it's not even that cold yet. You're making me sweat just looking at you." He hooked his finger in his shirt collar and pulled, showing his 'discomfort.' The man was always seen in what looked like heavy layers of clothes, and an ascot. _It's like a part of him. I wonder if he ever washes it.._

"That's funny coming from you, you burn hotter than normal anyhow. More like a furnace if you ask me." Lisanna waved him away, making Natsu gasp in fake hurt.

"I'll have you know the ladies love it, especially after a good time, ya know? They need something warm and sexy to cuddle up too." He put his arms around his head and smiled, making his shirt ride up and show a bit of toned stomach.

"Natsu! No one wants to know what you do with your free time. Unless it's something _actually_ productive. And what happened to your other shirts? I remember Lucy getting you some that fit." Natsu slouched and pouted heavily.

"She wasn't there to remind me this morning! She hasn't even texted or called me either." He began to whine slightly.

"Okay, seriously guys. I'm going in because I actually want to be here. You coming Freed?" Lisanna smiled at them and walked away with Freed following quietly behind her.

"I'm heading in as well, see you guys at lunch." Jellal walked into the school with Erza behind him, but not without leaving behind a deadly glare that clearly said, 'Hurry the hell up.'

Natsu narrowed his eyes warily and slowly trudged up the stairs and entered the school. Casting one look over his shoulder. _She better hurry up herself.._

* * *

Lucy was running along the sidewalk, dodging and twirling people in her way. Her heart was beating in sync with the loud taps her feet made while running. Stores and stands passed alongside her vision in a blur, only one destination in mind. Well, counting the school made it two.

"How could I have forgotten school supplies? It should have been the first thing on my mind! Stupid, stupid, stupid.."

Her not so quiet grumbling bringing more attention to her than she would have liked, she finally skidded to a stop in front of store known for its good prices and over stock of school supplies. Her chest heaved to suck in much needed oxygen as she walked into the store, frantic.

Not getting things done as soon as possible bothered the hell out of her, which greatly contradicted the fact that she was a protagonist with many tasks in her everyday life. Taking a short second to slightly calm herself, she walked stiffly over to the cashier at the front and leaned over the counter.

"Where are the school supplies?" Lucy stared into the face of the young man and quirked an eyebrow when a huge blush bloomed across his face. He hesitantly pointed towards the row to their right and over.

"O-over there, ma'm.." Lucy leaned back with a grateful look.

"Thank you!" Without waiting for a reply or a gesture, she dashed off to the back and took inventory on all the basics she would need today, leaving the more hefty things for later. Grabbing folders, pencils and journals she ran back up the cashier and basically threw them on the counter.

"This is all! How much would it be?" Digging around in her purse she drew out a twenty dollar bill and held it up, waiting for his response. When it didn't come she took more notice into his expression.

Following his gaze, she squeaked in alarm. Her sweater was falling off of her left shoulder, leaving her creamy skin exposed. Embarrassed and frustrated she slapped the twenty on the counter and grabbed everything in her hands.

"K-keep the change!" Again, without waiting for a reply she ran out of the store into the slight chill of the early morning. Without a seconds hesitation she began her trek to the school. By the huffing her breath and the quickening of her heartbeat, entering into the classroom would cause commotion. _So much for a quiet and sneaky entrance._

* * *

His ears twitched as he heard the doors squeak and slam shut behind him. Slowing to a stop after a few steps into the college, he leaned back and put his hand in his pocket. Navy blue eyes took in his surroundings at pace associated with caution. His other hand tensed up around his briefcase when he noticed the cost was clear.

Deciding it was safe, he began his path to his classroom. An unperturbed, wavering cold surrounded his posture and even acted like it was affecting the area around him as he turned the corner. His gait was slow and lethal, as if he was on a mission to hunt down prey. He passed under the air conditioner vent, causing his dark black, almost blue hair to lift and sway.

It lay in lazy angles, no definite pattern to its design. His bangs fell into his face, almost covering his left eye. As he was walking, something in the corner of his vision brought him to a stop. A closed door to his right had been recently shined to perfection, making it an ideal mirror.

He took in his appearance with no indifference or acceptance. The way he looked no longer affected his mood in anyway, although seeing himself in reflections always caused some sort of curiousness in his mind; raising questions he never knew the answer to too the surface. Is this how he always looked every minute of the day? Why did his hair look so soft yet so wild? Did the suit he was wearing compliment his lean body at all?

He brought his hand out of his pocket and brought it up to shift through his hair, causing his whole face to come into view. His eyebrows creased together slightly as even more of his appearance came to light. Did his eyes always look so dead and dangerous? His pinky slowly shifted and brushed over a pale scar above his left eyebrow.

This scar brought _many_ emotions to the forefront of his mind. Some he still didn't know who to deal with after many years following the event that caused it. After a second more of taking himself in, his hand fell to his side and he turned away from the mirror like door, only to find himself face to face with a..

"Yes..?"

The man in front of him raised an eyebrow, the paleness and shock in his face fading to what looked like irritation. "Do you always stare at yourself in public? You know they have bathrooms for that, right? You're blocking the hallway."

He raised an eyebrow at the man's tone; or teenager? He wasn't sure as too the age of the person in front of him, all he really dared to take in was the tone of annoyance and the… pink hair.

His hand came up again, only to point to his left to the all but scarce and empty hallway.

"I'm only one person. There's plenty of room left for anyone else to walk by. What stopped you from doing just that, eh?" He watched as the boy.. no, man in front of him drew back slightly at his tone.

"It doesn't matter why I stopped! But why wouldn't I when a weird ass person is staring at himself in a reflection? I thought I would at least see if you were alright, you looked dazed for a sec- Hey! Don't walk away from me when I'm talking!"

Stopping his walk, he turned around slowly and frowned, beginning to get frustrated. "I have a class to get too. So please if you'd like to continue your interesting conversation, I'm sure the lockers would love to hear the rest of your story." Turning back around, he took just a couple steps before the man was in front of him again. This spiked emotion into him he hadn't felt in a while. _Annoyance!_

"Would you stop walking off for just a second? The real reason I stopped you.. well, you just reminded me of someone from a long time ago, is all. It actually kind of surprised me for a second, so I thought I'd get your name."

He raised his eyebrows at the odd way of questioning, but if it would make him go away and leave him alone he'd be more than happy to answer! "My name is Gray Fullbuster. And to put this… 'issue' to rest, I don't recognize you at all. Sorry."

He would remember someone that had pink hair for sure. "Fullbuster huh? Well I suppose you aren't him, then. Ah well, thanks. See ya later!"

Gray watched him retreat and sighed heavily. His mind slowly came to the same stillness it was at before the interruption of its serenity. The man left without even giving his name in return; which didn't bother him one bit in the hopes of not hearing or seeing him too much in the future. Though in all the encounter didn't sit well with him, only for the fact that there might be a possibility he _did_ meet him before. But with the problem of not knowing his name or anything else about him, his mind came to a dead end. Which greatly annoyed him.

He sighed again, running his hand through his hair for the tenth time since waking up. Why did they began bickering in the first place? He began walking down the hallway, taking a left while rolling the events of the last few minutes over his was an interesting start to the new school year. His mind shut off then, and careened into a comforting, but dead silence. It was ruined when the bell rang; causing him to tense quickly. Fixing his suit from nonexistent wrinkles, he started off at a faster pace. He couldn't be late to class. He was the professor after all.

* * *

Lucy caught herself on the door handles of the school and wretched them open. When she heard the click behind her of them closing, she started to count backwards from ten as she made her way to the huge stairs to her immediate right. By any indication of her forgetting literally everything she actually needed, she did manage to remember what and where her first class was. Second floor, class 3-2.

She looked at the clock as she turned onto the second set of stairs and almost collapsed. She was 15 minutes late. _Fifteen!_

Hopefully the teacher lived up to her image of the first day of school; going over rules and guidelines while getting acquainted with students. Forgetting the image of calm, she rushed the door as soon as her foot touched the second floor. With each loud and regretful click of her boots, she begged her entrance to be quiet and unnoticeable.

She slowed down when she realized she was already in the classroom. Her arms tightened and brought everything closer to her chest when she realized her pencils were slipping. And she bit her lip tightly when she realized that her sweater was falling off her shoulders _again._

And when she turned towards the bottom of the lecture hall she froze. Everyone was looking at her; either with boredom or mild curiosity. Some of the students even snickered (not so quietly) at her dishelved appearance. Her heart really started thumping when she took in the glances of _appreciation_ from some of the guys. _Could this day start out any worse?_

"Are you Ms. Heartfilia?"

She stood straighter, her posture and mind instinctively going into 'proper' mode at the formal tone. She slightly smiled and looked at the person who called her name. But when she made eye contact with the.. _man_ , her knees almost buckled and her breath left her.

Down at the bottom of the auditorium like class room, sat the very image of _cocky_ and _egotistical_. And he was staring _into her soul._ "Ah, yes. I am.." She almost wanted to be surprised at how her voice was kept even and confident, when her very core was experiencing the apocalypse. _He is kind of sexy though.._

"You do realize you are roughly about… 15 minutes late?" He waited for her reply, but all she could muster was a sheepish smile and a simple shrug of her shoulders.

"Bring me your schedule then, Heartfilia." She blinked at the odd use of her last name, but nonetheless began the seemingly long trek down the stairs to his desk. "And leave your school supplies at any empty space on your way."

 _Oh dear Mavis kill me now!_ She stopped and slowly turned and looked out, yet again, at the vast ocean of _where the hell am I going to put this shit?_

"Psst…Lucy!" Her eyes followed the voice and found Natsu waving his hands everywhere trying to get her attention. She almost wanted to cry at the relief that burned through her at seeing a familiar face. Ignoring the reactions from school mates as he passed behind them, she put everything down at her desk and cast a sweet and adoring look over her shoulder before sauntering down the stairs to the desk of the professor. What she did not see was the frozen, red face of Natsu as he watched her descend.

 _Thank god he's here._ She would not feel as confident if he weren't. She wiped her hands on her jeans, and pulled out her schedule from her pocket and froze when she was about to hand it to the teacher, forgetting her earlier nervousness. _Wait, I had the schedule in my pocket the whole time?!_

"Is this your first college class?" The attractive but off-putting man spoke, and her heart stopped. _Oh, there it is._

"Ah, no s-sir. I actually tried a couple of years ago, but it didn't.. quite work the way I wanted it too, you could say." Lucy cursed the heavens above when she noticed her hand shaking at her side. Then wanted to curl up and die when she realized he was standing there with his hand out, waiting for the schedule.

"There's no reason to be so nervous, honestly. All you have to do is sit and listen to me talk about stuff you could learn out of a book. Not that hard." The man winked at her and then looked down at her classes.

While his head was downcast, she took a minute to take a long hard look at his features. _Yea, definitely sexy._ His bangs were falling over into his eyes; she watched as he shifted to run his hand through his hair, and how he leaned back against his desk. His suit opened slightly and she admired the view she could see of his flat stomach and broad shoulders. _Stop right there, Lucy. Look no further._

She brought her hand up and held onto her right arm with it, squeezing her upper arm with a firm grip. Although he was a hottie, he was also a teacher and a total no no zone for her. She swore off men quite a while back and planned to keep it that way. She had basically trained herself to appreciate, but never to reciprocate. Besides, with her little… _personal problem_ , she would never find anybody anyway. Thus, an endless cycle to her love life. _Good luck, Cupid._

"It looks like all of your classes are on the second floor this year. I'll be teaching most of your classes except for the last two. This way it'll make it easier on you…"

The man's eyebrow rose slightly when he noticed her expression. She had a grimace of some sort on her face, tinged with confusion and annoyance. Lucy smiled slowly, bringing herself out of her thoughts. "Oh, that's great. Now I just have to figure out which way is left and right, then I'll be peachy."

She grabbed her schedule and stuffed it back in her pockets. When she looked back up she was astounded. He was chuckling at her remark, and his smile reached his eyes in the most alluring way; as if he never smiled in his life.

"Good one, I think they might have labels on the doors this year. You wouldn't be the first one."

Lucy smiled back at him, playing it cool. _Cool? More like choking on my spit while trying to breath. Was it this hot in here earlier?_

"Heartfilia, I want to apologize for putting you on the spot earlier. I do have to make sure all my students are on time for their classes; first day or not. But seeing as you _were_ in a hurry…"

She glanced back at her space full of random supplies and cringed.

"Then I will excuse you for this one instance, alright? Now, go ahead and head back to your seat. I'm sure your… friend will catch you up."

Lucy was taken back a little at the tone and glance she caught when he spoke about who she assumed was Natsu. Which only meant that they probably already butted heads; Natsu was notorious for doing that with every professor.

"Yes, thank you Mr….?"

The man turned around and smiled that _one_ smile again, extending his hand to her. "Gray Fullbuster. Although you can call me Professor or Mr. Fullbuster, which ever suits you best."

Her mind almost stilled at that name… Fullbuster. It had a ring to it that caused light to shine on part of her memories she never really wanted to remember; although it was a very weak light. _I can't quite place that name.._

"Lucy Heartfilia.. please, call me Lucy. I prefer that over my last name any day."

When Lucy sat down by Natsu, she realized that the exchange between her and Mr. Fullbuster didn't last but 5 minutes. She was so absorbed in her mind and emotions, time went by at a crawl. Scrunching her eyebrows, her hand mindlessly went up to her ears and she froze.

Her headphones.

"Here, Lucy. I always keep an extra pair with me because you forget them every time you walk out the door, ya know." Natsu pushed over a small pair of earphones and she breathed a sigh of relief. She leaned over slowly as she gathered them into her bag, and whispered in his ear.

"Thank you, Natsu. You don't know how happy I am to see you here right now. I thought I was going to die.."

She leaned back and smiled at him, then quickly tried to rearrange her space. Once she was done, her hand tightly clinched Natsu's earphones in her hand from inside her bag. Without music, she would be a zombie, and if she didn't have a pair of earphones with her, she would surely not make it.

Everything she relies on now is a crutch; a permanent one. She glanced at Natsu from the corner of her eyes and smiled sadly. Even her friends were quickly becoming something she could not live without. If she didn't learn how to cope fast, then she'd end up bringing them all down with her. _Which is not an option._

Lucy had been thinking about this for a while now. What would happen if they all left her? If they finally starting moving forward with their future and left her in the dust? She would ultimately be alone, and not even Natsu deserved to stay behind because of her; she loved him too much to drag him through the mud. She wanted him to be happy..

She looked down at the Professor and leaned forward, propping her head up on her hand. Looking at him from this far away made it easier for her to fantasize. Maybe it would be a good idea for her too start.. considering dating again. Lucy rolled the idea around for a minute then scoffed silently. _If only.._

An elbow to the side brought her attention to her left, where Natsu was looking at her with raised eyebrows. Leaning over, he whispered in her ear. "I thought zoning out was supposed to be my thing."

Lucy rolled her eyes and lightly kicked his shin, smiling at him. She watched as he pushed over a couple papers and blinked at the words there. She leaned over to him, grabbing pencil. He had written down what they had gone over so far before she arrived, and she wanted to hug him for it. "Thanks.. Natsu."

He didn't reply, but leaned back with a smile on his face. She repeated the action and returned his grin. If the butterflies in her stomach were any indication, this school year was going to be interesting. Just the aspect of being in class made her nervous. But hopefully she could learn to cooperate by herself on her own two feet, and enjoying every second with her friends.

At the time, she didn't know that those moments with them might very well be her last.

* * *

 **Hello, and thank you for reading this chapter, feel free to yell and be angry. I did take _way_ too long on it. I edited about a thousand times. A slow kick off to a monstrous fic! It's the slow chapters that get us to the good stuff, so please look forward to the next chapter! Review, tell me your thoughts and what you think ;)**

 **-Kairrie**


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